Spring is upon us, boopnificent hoomans~
does you have any seeds? plz to send to Ms Nya
it started one day when hooman #1 was on a walk when the weight of the world was too much and they just couldn’t fathom how we could keep going on like this pretending everything is okay
every sprring, a very fluffy, a very gwumpy ginger cat sits on some soils and asks you:
“what anggyy?”
this sprring too, he sits on the soils and looks at you, asking the very same thing: “what anggyy?”
the cats know that hoomans have all kinds of anggyy. ohooo, the minor everry day inconveniences that be anggyy. anxiety about the worrld as we know it today because hoomans be staking claims over oils, monies and powurr (while the cats are out here staking their claims for an abundant undefeated chimken empire).
yes, yes.. these days even the cats be a bit worried meow.
☆゜・。_。・ a brriefing from the egg-cellent factorry
“the chimken food situation,” anya (hooman #1) began, reading from a clipboard that had been left on the garrden bench, “is not good.”
ms nya, pawfessional cat & her royal felineness, it is known, operates the egg-cellent factorry ~ a facility whose location is undisclosed, whose operations are unclear, and whose supply chain is managed entirely by cats. nobody knows how she got the keys. the cats are keeping their sekrets tightly.
what is known is this: egg prices have been sky high. the bowl ~ miss nya’s bowl ~ has been disturbingly visible at the bottom on three separate occasions this quarter. three. miss nya does not know if things will resolve themselves or if she will be forced into a corner she does not wish to name.
and so she is experimenting.
the hypothesis, as best as anya has been able to translate it, is as follows:
seeds and eggs are… technically, the same thing. both are the beginning of something. both require warmth, patience, and the right conditions. both crack open when the time is right.
therefore: if seeds can be incubated in the presence of chimkens ~ who carry within them the ancient knowledge of cracking open ~ perhaps the seeds will remember. perhaps they will grow into something chimken-adjacent. perhaps the future generation of cats will not be forced to endure a world with insufficient chimken food.
this hypothesis has been furmally documented in miss nya's seminal paper: "Seeds, Eggs, and the Ancient Chimken Memory: A Preliminary Investigation into Vegan Chimken Technology (Vol. 1)." it has one citation. the citation is herself. anya has read it. anya has *cough * questions.
miss nya also has a slide deck. it has twelve slides. slide one is a picture of her bowl. slide twelve is a picture of her bowl, full. slides two through eleven are proprietary.
the initial research is pointing to how anggyy seeds from hoomans are one of the best at grrowing in these conditions.
this sprring, the garrdennn is opening its gates in the name of chimken research. the lead researcher in the garrdennn this season is a specific gwumpy cat who is the latest in a long line of extremely fluffly, extremely committed, zero-methodology garrdenners.
(yes, the very gwumpy cat who is now looking at you and insists on asking “what anggyy”… he’s taking this research seriously fur the future of all cat kind.)
☎️ call for parrticipants
the garrdennn is now accepting anggyy seeds.
😶 ideal candidates:
~ pawfessional hooman at worrk
~ too stressed / sads / hunggyy / anggyy
~ not nearly cat enough
~ aspires to play more like the cats
🪺 in possession of at least one seed:
🌱 an offer that wants to exist but feels too soon
🌱 a feeling with no name and no shape yet
🌱 a project that keeps getting postponed until conditions are right
🌱 content that is not ready to be seen but is tired of being hidden
🌱 a skill being quietly learned in the background
🌱 a way of working that the old world didn’t have room for
🌱 seventeen drafts of the same thing
🌱 resistance that has been mistaken for laziness or lack of interest
🌱 something that is not ready but is also tired of waiting
📝 fine prrint
come if you want work and life to have more play and cat joy in it. take a prrivate plot in the garrdennn or a collective (anonymous) plot to be witnessed by the cats~
plot options:
🌱 free ~ private plot, just you and the soil
🌻 1 chimken coin ~ community plot, the cats bear witness
🎟️ 30 days, rolling entry
